Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
