Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
