she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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