508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
