New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
