So drunk its hurt
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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