i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
wow bdsm is so cute
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