Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
