i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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