So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
