Grow some girl-balls and come out already
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
