There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
