Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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