Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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