I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize