She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
