Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
where does the pee come out of this thing
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
