last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
