Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
