Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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