Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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