My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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