There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
