Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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