I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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