I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
