Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize