you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
