he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
