Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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