Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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