Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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