I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
They have beer where we have blood.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
