I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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