either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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