At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
