You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
When did angry sex become our thing?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
