The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
