Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
