we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
