my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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