i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
