The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
