I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
