apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
