We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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