I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
