I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
