It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize