wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize