I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
