LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
