maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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