How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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