hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
