Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
