I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
