This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
