Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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