I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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