...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize