Are we in a gay sports bar?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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