hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
