Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
