I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
