What a fucking waste of an outfit
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
