can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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