how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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