she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
