sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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