When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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