The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
